Black History

Black History
I had no idea history was being made. I was just tired of giving up. -Rosa Parks

Saturday, March 26, 2011

National Black Marriage Day

To say that my life has been overwhelmingly busy since my last post 4 weeks ago, is an understatement! My daughter was in her spring school production, "Combinations," and I was the cast party host for 2 shows. Micah also celebrated her 13th birthday, which brought on a week-long celebration from a hair "makeover", to a limo ride & dinner with friends, to a friends & family rights of passage gathering over dinner at home. From there we went straight into the golf season opener...Micah plays on both her school team and a city-wide team sponsered by the LPGA (by the way, she won her first match by 4 strokes!). We rounded this past month off with the Clark Atlanta University "Spirit of Greatness" Gala last Sunday! The Mr. does an original art piece for the Gala each year, which means the Mrs. is at his beck and call until the last guest leaves the ballroom (it also means the Mrs. gets caught up rolling 400+ poster/prints and inserts them into 400+ 3mm wide poly bags!).

So...WHEW! I took care of my fam but neglected our project to share our history...but its all relevant! African Americans have thrived on familial connections...generation after generation....its what keeps us going. Positive or negative, our family is our motivation to take it to the next level.

I don't know about you, but when my family has me on the go, I usually talk to my girls about whats going on...whats stressing me out...what could be done differently. My girls are my constant cheerleaders. They remind me that in all of my comings and goings I have to take care of myself, that there is no such thing as perfection, and they also remind me that its okay to say "NO!" from time to time.

Sometimes when we are constantly trying to please everyone, constantly striving to make everything alright, and although its embarassing to admit...sometimes we do strive to pull off perfection (or at least the perception of perfection to satisfy the onlookers). When we work so hard to pull something together, we feel a "high" upon successful completion. However, oftentimes our efforts are overlooked or under-celebrated, which results in a "low".

I don't know about you and your household, but in mine...EVERYONE feels underappreciated! I give my husband constant shout-outs via social networks, bragging about his latest project. I tell him (and show him...wink wink) "thank you" about a million times a day for providing, organizing, hanging out with the kids, or helping out around the house. However, he doesn't always hear it. In his mind, he tells me "thank you" a million times a day for my efforts...but in the same vain, I don't always hear it. That's the point the author of "Love Languages" is trying to get to. We can say it with our mouth, we can say it with our actions...but if we're not "speaking" the "language" our partner can comprehend...we're not really saying much of anything at all...simply because we're not reaching them.

Tomorrow, Sunday, March 27th is National Black Marriage Day. http://www.blackmarriageday.com/Black_Marriage_Day/Welcome.html

The goal is to change the hearts and minds of the Black community to cherish and celebrate the marriages that we currently have while encouraging others to commit themselves to marriage so more children grow up with the gift of a two parent family.

Marriage is HARD WORK (if you didn't know!). Every married couple of my generation that I am close to is either already divorced or they're bustin their ass not to be! My father has been married 4 times; my mother was married twice. I still live with the pain and confusion brought on by divorce, re-marriage(s), step-mothers, step-sisters, half-sisters/brothers, etc. It was a lot of love...don't get me wrong...but I grew up with way too much information...but not necessarily the right information necessary to find, develop and maintain a happy, healthy marriage and family. Its a constant work in progress. Luckily for me, my parents (as well as my surrogate parents, mentors, etc.) found their way along the way; they got smarter; they became grounded in The Spirit; and although they can't undo the damage of the past...they do work hard to suggest modifications for the future.

One constant theme in the advice I receive from my elders...is to PRAY! To remain grounded in God, to be faithful and faithfilled.  While this isn't a traditional post about Black History per se...it is about our Black legacy! (Besides, this is my/our Blog...we have the privilege of defining what is or isn't "traditional!") To maintain and nurture our legacy...the legacy of strong family, I want to share this prayer that I pray daily (in good times and in bad). I shared it with a few friends, and didn't realize the impact it had on so many people. I've watched this prayer be passed around via Facebook and Email to my friends...my friends friends...and even strangers and their friends.

So, in honor of National Black Marriage Day; In honor of our legacy; In honor of strong, healthy families... here's one of my favorite prayers:

Father, I come boldly before Your throne of grace at this time in our marriage. For Your Word says that You are a very present help. So I look unto the hills (unto You), from which comes our help. For I know that our help comes only from you.

Father, I know that it is the thief (Satan) who comes to steal, kill, and bring destruction upon our marriage. I recognize that he is the one that desires to steal our happiness and destroy our marriage. So I take authority over Satan, and over every principality, every demonic spirit, and every spiritual wickedness in high places, and I bind them from our marriage, by the authority of the name of Jesus Christ!

Father, You said that what You have joined together, that we should not allow any person, nor any demon in hell to put asunder or separate. Father, I believe that You put us together; so I refuse to let the devil take hold and destroy our marriage. I cast down every spirit of arguing, fussing, fighting, discord, and division. I render these, as well as every other demonic attack against our marriage to be helpless, powerless, inoperative, and ineffective against us.

I thank You Father that the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty throuogh You, O God, to the pulling down of strongholds, and casting down imaginations. Therefore, I pull down every stronghold of Satan in our marraige; I cast down every wicked and demonic thought, imagination, and influence that is upon or against our marriage. I enter into the strong man's house (Satan) with one who is stronger than he, (The Lord, Jesus Christ), and I take back what rightfully belongs to us. I take back our peace, harmony, love, affection, and everything else that God has given and promised us for our marriage. Satan, I decree that you are defeated in our marriage, and you are under our feet. I decree all these things by the powerful, magnificent, and invincible name of the Lord, Jesus Christ.

Father, I also thank You for the power and authority that You have given to us to speak to our situations and circumstances, and command them to be removed; therefore, I speak to the troubles in our marriage, and I command them to be removed, up-rooted, and cast into the sea. And even as Jesus spoke, and calmed the raging sea with the power of His Word, I also speak the Word of the Living God to this sea of troubles in our marriage, and I command them to be at "peace, and be still!"

I thank You Father that this satanic weapon that has been formed against us shall "not" prosper, and every tongue that shall rise against us shall be exposed and brought to an open shame. I thank You for contending with the enemy as he contends with us through this attack; and may You fight on our behalf, and rebuke the devourer from our marriage, for our sake.

Father, You said that You would perfect that which concerns us; and You know these troubles concern us. So I pray that You would perfect our marriage from these troubles, and bless our marriage to mature in Christ.

Lord, You are our Sheperd, and as our Sheperd, I pray that You would help us not to follow the voice of the stranger (Satan), but help us to follow Your voice (our Great Shepherd). Therefore, I cast down every thought and imagination of separation, infidelity, unfaithfulness, and divorce; and I thank You that neither my spouse nor I shall listen to the voice of Satan.

Father, You said that the effectual, fervent prayers of a righteous man avail much. I know that I am not righteous of my own works, but I am made righteous through Jesus Christ. Therefore, I thank You that my prayers for our marriage avail much in victory.

Father, I pray that You would bless our love to grow stronger and stronger, first of all for You, and then for one another. And as our love grows, give us a desire to please each other more and more. I pray that as we find faults and shortcomings in each other, that You would help us to be patient with one another, and bless our love to overcome our faults and differences. For Your Word says that love covers a multitude of faults.

Father, You instructed us to always remember our first love. So I pray that You would bless us to remember how it was when we first met. May You restore and revive that same first love affection and desire within our hearts, and help us to keep our love continually and passionately stirred for one another.

I pray that You would help us not to become conformed to what Satan would have us to see in each other, but bless us to rather, become transformed and renewed daily to see what You would have us to see in each other. May You renew our minds so that we see each other as exciting, attractive, sensuous, and more desirable than ever before. Bless us to care about what pleases each other, help us to become more sensitive to each other's needs and desires, and help us not to be selfish, but rather giving to one another.

I pray that You would help us to walk in unity, and in the spirit of agreement. And help us to both speak the same things (in the spirit of unity) and be on one accord in Christ.

Father, I thank You for the peace of God in our marriage -- the peace that passes all understanding. May You keep us in Your perfect peace (rather than confusion and contention), and help us to keep our hearts and our minds stayed upon You.

Now Father, I thank You for Your Word, and how that Your Word does not return unto You void, but it accomplishes that in which You send it to perform. So as I have prayed Your Word through this prayer, I thank You for our victory, and for our deliverance, restoration and reconciliation. I give You all the glory, the honor and the praise for what You have already done (by faith), and for what You shall continue to do in our marriage.

In the name of Jesus Christ, I pray. AMEN!

(Prayer comes from the book: "The Weapons of Our Warfare" by Pastor Kenneth Scott; ISBN: 0-9667009-2-9)